A Good Read - My Dramatic Wake-up by Colleen Marshall

My Dramatic Wake-up by Colleen Marshall Back in 1993, the year I woke up, I was working for a large, silicon valley corporation. Every day I went to work wearing my high heel shoes, painted finger and toe nails, perfectly coiffed hair. My reading material was limited to Cosmo magazine. I was a good person who treated her fellow Beings with respect and kindness.However, I was not spiritually aware or as many say, “on my spiritual path". Around June of 1993, after my two year relationship ended, I found myself waking up one Saturday morning with a very clear voice in my head saying, “Go to a metaphysical bookstore.” The voice was soft and uniquely familiar. How strange, I must be coming out of a dream. I ignored the message and went about my usual routine. Upon awakening the following Saturday, I heard the same voice. This time loud and clear, “GO TO A METAPHYSICAL BOOKSTORE.” Wow! I’m certainly not dreaming now; I wonder what it all means. I searched my brain for the location of a metaphysical bookstore and proceeded to go there. Once I entered the store, I observed two women conversing. They stopped talking and greeted me. I sheepishly smiled not wanting to engage in conversation because I really didn’t know why I was in this store. I began perusing the book titles. They didn’t make sense. It was like they were written in a foreign language. Unfamiliar words like Pleiadian, Arcturians, Atlantis, Lemuria, Mu, Keys of Enoch, Greys, Reiki, Tantra, Wiccan were swirling around in my head as I tried to search my mind for a reference so I could make sense of…all or any of it. One of the women in the store was a co-owner and the other woman, Barbara Light, was there to post her flyer for a class on the then popular book by Clarissa Pinkola Estes, "Women Who Run With Wolves". She handed me a flyer and a copy of the book. Finally, something I could wrap my mind around. I’ve always resonated with Native American traditions. She invited me to attend her class. I took the flyer and abruptly left the store. The following Monday was the first class. I was haunted by Barbara’s personal invitation and emphatically drawn to go. I found Barbara Light strangely familiar and yet, I was also a little intimidated by her power. Everything about her was exotic: her high cheekbones, wild, long dark hair, knowing eyes, the way she dressed, the gentleness of her spirit along with the fierceness of her feminine stance. I had never met anyone quite like her. It turned out that me and another woman, Maria, were the only two people to show up for the class. Pam, the owner of the shop decided to join us for the first class. Barbara asked us to think about what was going on in our lives that week. She then instructed us to ask for guidance from the spirit of the book, Women Who Run With Wolves. We were to open the book by trusting our fingers to know which page contained the most pertinent message to meet our individual needs. Immediately I was filled with the fear that I wouldn’t do it right. I was afraid it wouldn’t work for me. Trying to hide my insecurities, I opened the book. I read the page. OH MY! The message was perfect for what was going on in my life at that time. I was amazed. Then it was Maria Louisa’s turn. She was accustomed to this ritual and her passage brought her to tears it was so spot on. This technique became a mainstay in my spiritual practice. Barbara read a passage from the book so we could discuss it. She instructed us to ask ourselves, “What has happened to our soul-voice? In what condition is our relationship to our instinctual Self? When was the last time we ran free?” I remember at the time I felt barren, half dead. It was like I was a robot going through life void of a heart connection to the world around me. Where had my passion for life gone? Barbara told me I was in the desert.Awareness is the first key to returning to my true self. At any time I can choose to reclaim my “Wild Woman”. The metaphors in the book typify the entire process for bringing a woman to her full instinctual, wildish senses. Within us are the soul-bones of a Wild Woman. Within us is the potential to be fleshed out again as the whole Being we once were. Within us are the bones to change ourselves and our world. We can learn to sing again. We can learn to be free again. At the closing of the evening, Barbara turned down the lights, instructed each of us to light a candle while stating out loud our intention for the coming week. Oh no, here we go again. What does she mean by intention. My mind was chaotic in trying to figure out what was appropriate to say. It was very painful because I didn’t want to “look” stupid.Somehow I muddled through. Then Barbara invited us to howl like wolves. The three women began to howl loudly and passionately. What have I gotten myself into? Part of me wanted to run away while another part was intrigued with these women and the freedom by which they howled. As soon as I attempted to give a howl, I started to cough. Finally, I managed to get a pretty good howl out and then began to uncontrollably cough again. Hot tears were running down my flushed cheeks. My coughing did not deter the women—they continued their howls. When they finished howling, they broke out into a belly laugh. I had not witnessed women laughing like that for a very long time—probably since I was in high school. It was contagious and I joined them in abandoned laughter. It was so freeing! It was orgasmic! Barbara then explained to me that it was perfectly OK that I coughed. It was just my throat chakra that was blocked. What did that mean? I was a novice. I had heard of chakras before and knew they were energy centers but I really didn’t know what that meant. Barbara said that it was common for women to have blocked throat chakras. Historically women have been tortured even killed for expressing their opinions. Yes, I could see why I coughed, I was energetically blocked from years of childhood suppression. I continued to go to the Monday evening classes. After about 4 weeks, Barbara told me I was ready to attend her Tuesday evening meditation group. Okay, now what is in store for me? Tuesday night arrived. As I entered Barbara’s home, I was welcomed by 12 women and men (mostly women). Maria observed that I was the thirteenth. Oh, a master number – excellent. Everyone smiled in recognition. I thought to myself, isn’t 13 an unlucky number? I have so much to learn. We gathered in a circle to light our intention candle. Here we go again—panic. I carefully listened while the others before me stated their intentions. Some were for their personal lives like practicing more patience with their spouse while other intentions were more universal in nature like world peace. It was my turn. As I lit the candle and started to speak, my throat closed and I began coughing so my candle went out. Try again! The same results. Barbara instructed me to close my eyes andspeak from my heart. Whatever you say will be perfect. Trust your inner guidance. Her loving assurance calmed my nerves and somehow erased my fears. I took a deep breath. I remembered something I learned in the 1980’s while in therapy for Adult Children of Alcoholics. Look into a mirror and say, “Colleen, I love you and accept you just the way you are”. OK. I took another breath and from somewhere deep in my heart and not my head I stated my intention. I received warm smiles from all my new friends. I felt accepted and seen for just being Colleen. As if that was not enough expansion for one evening, now Barbara was going to take us on a guided meditation. Everyone got comfortable and closed their eyes. Barbara guided us to take three deep, relaxing breaths. We were then to chant the sacred word“OM” three times in unison. Do I dare partake in the chant and risk another humiliating coughing spell? I decide to chant softly. I was relieved when my throat chakra cooperated. Several weeks later, Barbara offered to teach me Reiki, a natural method for healing. Reiki is a Japanese term that means “universal life energy”—the energy that lives in all creation, that is inherent to all living Beings and that nourishes them and keeps them alive. Reiki rebalances the subtle bodies and chakras. When the subtle bodies and chakras are not aligned, they block the incoming universal life force into the human system creating “dis-ease”. Once aligned, the energy flows freely. This results in a healthy wholeness on all levels— physical, emotional, mental and spiritual. We negotiated a price that I could afford and set a date. Spirit was telling her that I was on the fast track. She was instructed by her spiritual guides to teach me both Reiki I and II together. I was very excited. This felt right and natural.By now, I knew I had been a healing Priestess in past lives. Once I started learning about the chakras, a stream of information came to me triggering cellular memories about chakras, balance, energy, vibration, frequency, magnetics, color, universal energy, etc. I took to Reiki like fish to water. A few weeks later, I went to Barbara’s expecting our usual meditation meeting. To my surprise, this night Barbara had invited about 40 people to come listen to Sheldan Nidle. He is a representative of the Galactic Federation of Light. His galactic guides were imparting information to prepare humanity for mass contact with our galactic neighbors. Yikes! Now what have I gotten myself into. Yes, I believed thatUFOs existed and that there must be life on other planets but I didn’t know anyone who was actually conversing with aliens. I trust Barbara so I will listen with an open mind and heart. Sheldan and Miriam, his wife at the time, stood humbly before the group. Sheldan introduced himself sharing with the group how he came to receive this information. Since he was a toddler, he visited space ships and was mentored by our galactic neighbors, particularly the Sirians. He told us that our solar system is being showered with an inter-dimensional Light. This inter-dimensional Light is transforming our DNA and chakra systems. It is the vehicle for our restoration to full consciousness. We will be ascending to a higher dimension along with our planet and our entire solar system. About half way through his presentation, something strange and wonderful happened to me. The room full of people disappeared.The only ones remaining in the room were Sheldan, Miriam and myself. We formed a sacred triangle. It was revealed that I knew them on another dimension—in fact, we are galactic buddies. The words Sirius Star system, DNA, inter-dimensional Light, 5th dimension all activated my cellular memories. It felt like the top of my head opened up and a funnel of light codes filled withsacred geometry poured into me. The sacred geometry that was being downloaded awakened me to information I previously did not have conscious knowledge of. I found myself in an altered state of consciousness. Every cell in my body was vibrating. I felt luminous. Our hearts connected and I could feel the most divine, all encompassing Love being shared among the three of us. When I came back to this reality, I was in a state of euphoria. I didn’t understand what just happened to me. All I knew was I LIKED IT! I was alive. It felt like the most natural, heartwarming experience. I wasn’t scared, I felt exhilarated. For days after, I dreamt of being showered with sacred geometry. On my way home, alone in my red Ford Escort, I shamelessly howled like the wolves as my heart soared like an eagle. From that day forward I would never be the same. Something glorious had awakened in me and I experienced a glimpse of Home. The next morning I phoned my sister to tell her all about myextraordinary experience. I was eager to share everything I learned. I desperately wanted her to join in my joy. She remained quiet until I finished. “What do you think, isn’t it exciting?” I asked. She replied, “Who are you? How do you know all this information?” I just told you. I guess I expected her to awaken and accept this thought provocative information with the same enthusiasm as I had. To my sister’s credit, she showed respect to me for my life-altering encounter but she did not embrace the information as her truth. I would quickly learn that not everyone is ready for this information and sometimes it is best to discern to whom and how much you share with others. My next call was to Barbara. Surely she will shed some light on what happened to me. Her response was one of congratulations and celebration. She told me this is a gift to be cherished and not doubted or diminished by sharing it with those who cannot understand. She instructed me to meditate every day asking for more clarity. This will help you to integrate the experience and information the sacred geometry awakened in you. Learn to trust what your heart is telling you and you will continue to have what seems like miraculous experiences when in reality they are more valid and real than the illusion we find ourselves living in. So I did. I let myself revel in the joy of the experience. I surrendered to my heart-knowing and banished all hesitation from my doubting mind. I was in bliss and wanted it to last forever more. About a month later at exactly 4 am, I was awaken by two very tall, golden Beings of Light. It’s difficult to explain but I clearly could make out their human form even though they also appeared as a ghostly/ethereal mass of golden energy.Surprisingly, it seemed like the most natural occurrence—as though it was customary to have Angels visit me in the middle of the night. As they were talking to me, I thought to myself, “Shouldn’t Angels have wings.” Because they are telepathic, they instantly responded, “Oh, you would like us to have wings, OK.” Like magic wings appeared. I was thrilled and in a state of awe because they knew every thought I was having. Six months later I realized that my visitors were not spiritual Angels but galactic Angels. They were my galactic guides from the star system Sirius B in the constellation of Canis Major. Before going to bed that night, I was reading my newly acquired trilogy, Exploring Atlantis by Frank Alper. My Angels told me that I had stopped reading too soon: they wanted me to continue reading and they would return when I had completed the assignment. The next chapter was on the priestesses and priests of Atlantis. It was all about how they healed the planet and people with crystals. My heart welled up in joyous memory of being a healing priestess in Lemuria and later Atlantis. When the Angels returned, they confirmed my realization about being a high priestess in the time of Atlantis. We talked about thepower of crystals. They asked me to go back to the metaphysical store and purchase my first crystal. They said that working with crystals would only be a temporary tool. Soon I would learn that I AM the crystal. Before they departed, they prophesized three things: one, I would no longer be working a corporate job by February 1st; two, I would spend the next year remembering how to be an energy healer; and three, I should continue with the project I was involved in. Project? But before I could ask what they meant by project, they disappeared. I surmised they were referring to selling deregulated telephone service. Yes, I was one who had joined the bandwagon and was educating people about the abuse the three big telephone companies, AT&T, Sprint and MCI, were perpetrating on the public. But, as they say, that’s another story. All this time, I still had my corporate job. I was working for a large company in the human resources department. I was an administrator for the company’s retirement plans. Unfortunately, the company was experiencing financial troubles. They had eight thousand employees and were down-sizing to 4,000 employees. Everyone in my department knew that with this large of an employee down-sizing one of us would have to be sacrificed. Of course, our department was busier than ever because we were responsible for processing the laid-off employee retirement accounts. One sunny day in mid-November, Rosemary, my manager came into my office and closed the door. Well, this could only mean one thing—I’m getting laid off. Typically when a manager comes in to deliver the bad news that you have been selected to be a part of the down-sizing, they bring a box for you to empty your desk of personal belongings, forfeit any keys, badges, etc. that belong to the company right then and there on the spot. You are then escorted out of the building never to return. She didn’t have a box but she closed the door. What is she here for? Her face was grave as she explained to me that it was a difficult decision but I was the one in our department to be leaving the company. She apologized profusely. It took every ounce of restraint I had to not jump up and shout “YIPEE! THE ANGELS WERE RIGHT! I smiled and reassured her that it was OK. I would be OK. I knew I would be OK. After all, the Angels told me I would be leaving. But didn’t they say February 1st? I guess they were off on the timing. Then I heard Rosemary say, “We value you as an employee and we trust you. We would like you to stay on until January 31.” YES! THE ANGELS WERE RIGHT! AS OF FEBRUARY 1ST I WOULD NO LONGER WORK FOR CORPORATE. Now I’m giddy with excitement as I continue to comfort my manager. After a bit, she took a step back and exclaimed, “I’m suppose to be comforting you but you are the one comforting me— why?” What could I say? I didn’t want to tell her I had been visited by Angels. Rosemary continued to harp on me why, why, why was I so happy? Finally, I explained to her, “I knew I was the one that would be leaving because in my “dream” the Angels told me that I would be the one to go.” She nodded nervously and swiftly left my office. We never talked about it again. My company was a progressive, conscious employer. They offered their laid-off employees a decent severance package. As part of the package, I was given a battery of psychological tests to help determine what jobs would best suit me. To my delight, the results stated that I was best suited to be a teacher, preferably a spiritual teacher. It was confirmation that I was on the right path. Another benefit offered was extended unemployment benefits as long as I took classes to improve my computer skills. Excellent! Now I could dedicate all my time to my spiritual learning. Everything was magically synchronistic.